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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to smash with a sledge hammer the others just a fucking watermelon."

"Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre."

"Have you heard about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well."

"After months of trying to find a job... ...my mate has recently found work in making chess pieces. He starts next week on nights."

"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"

"More sad news in the music industry today... Kanye west was found alive in his house this morning..."

"Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too"

"What did the Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving? Shirenara!"

"How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit."

"Hey, are you BB-8? (harmless spoiler) Coz I'd like to fix your antenna ( )"