104685

Joke of the Day

"Saw a police officer dressed as a pilot today & thought it was weird. Then I realized he must be one of those ""plane clothes cops."""

"When did you stop beating your wife? When we stopped having masturbation races."

"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."

"Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic."

"Vegetarian: *lists 100 reasons why I shouldn't eat meat* Me: Counterpoint: bacon."

"Facebook jokes are always Click Next to read more"

"I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move"

"I submitted several play on words to a competition, hoping one will bring me victory.... Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"They laughed at me when I bought Velcro sneakers but no one will be laughing when the great shoelace drought of 2044 comes"

"If you hated really old teak furniture, would you be anti antique teak?"