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Joke of the Day

"I dont use one of those unfollower sites like a psycho. I use my handwritten list of followers and crosscheck it daily like a NORMAL PERSON!"

"When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face? When her moustache is on fire!"

"Some of the best decisions I've ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send."

"What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed? Blunt trauma."

"Star Wars Joke. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel? 2. One to change it, and another to shoot him and take the credit."

"How do you see if the Ken doll is ticklish? Give him test tickles."

"A German man walks into a bar.. He stops midway, locks eyes with the bartender and announces: ""This is a scheduled stop."""

"Keep saying yellow and soon enough It'll sound like you're saying gullible."

"Just finished a chat via text msg in which the girl finished every single sentence with ""lol"". It was draining lol. Wanna kill myself lol."

"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."