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Joke of the Day

"Just finished a chat via text msg in which the girl finished every single sentence with ""lol"". It was draining lol. Wanna kill myself lol."

"Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot."

"My husband and I are fighting. There's about a 50 50 chance he knows."

"My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean."

"They should make a Minecraft movie It would be a blockbuster."

"Where does a toilet keep his secrets? In his diarrhea."

"How you compliment an Italian cheese maker? ""Gouda worka"""

"What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison? He's not a tight end anymore ;)"

"May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie"

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World? Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies."