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Joke of the Day

"For those with kids who love Frozen..... Knock Knock. Whose there? You. You who? You Who, big summer blowout! (Norwegian accent)"

"DATING TIP: OFFER THEM WATER. PUT 2 STRAWS IN. ROMANTIC WATER."

"I tried to be a pornstar But apparently that type of content breaks Terms of Service on Vine"

"Nothing sucks worse... than a shitty vacuum cleaner"

"How do you spot a vegan at the gym? Pretty much the same as anyone else."

"If I said I was the king of the jungle, I'd be lion to you."

"If pi is 3.14, then i think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts."

"the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell"

"I got a handjob from a blind girl last night. She said ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."". I said ""Nah, You're just pulling my leg.""."

"My doctor told me he appreciates my patience. I told him that I appreciate that he appreciates his patients."