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Joke of the Day

"I got a handjob from a blind girl last night. She said ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."". I said ""Nah, You're just pulling my leg.""."

"It's too bad your funny status was ruined by your inability to spell."

"Seems like the most reliable way to get rid of some people is just to lend them money....))"

"My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water....I think he meant well."

"""i said make him fetch"" yeah? ""what have you done"" he looks pretty fetching to me *dog in shirt & tie* does he have a job interview or somet"

"What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon? tenish."

"Reasons to jump: 1. Trampoline 2. Skydiving 3. Bungee jumping 4. Kris Kross made you"

"[I see a cute girl reading a novel] ""Hi there. I couldn't help but notice-"" *points at book* ""That you support the murder of trees."""

"My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee"

"Joke about jokes. I've never told this joke, but I have written it once."