104480

Joke of the Day

"A girl walks into a bar and ask the bartender for a double entendre so he gives it to her."

"Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset? Because you didn't ask him what band he's in."

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."

"I'm going to stop wearing cologne and taking showers... Because if I'm going to smell like an asshole, I'll do it all natural."

"What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on? *squash*"

"Do you like oranges? Well I am bad at colloquialisms! How you like them oranges?!?!"

"How does Walter Palmer like his eggs? Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any"

"""Easter?"" HERE ""Thanksgiving?"" HERE ""Christmas?"" PRESENT"

"Did you hear Harriet Tubman will be on the $20? Does this mean it'll be worth 70% of its value because she's a woman? Or does it mean it'll be worth 3/5th because she's black?"

"What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice? The Spanish Inquisition."