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Joke of the Day

"I'm dressing up as Bernie Sanders for halloween I'm going to take the candy from the rich kids and give it all to the poor ones"

"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots eat em' all."

"Women are like snowflakes: they can't drive"

"Pessimist: This can't get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!"

"What is the difference between a man and a cat? One eats a lot, is lazy and doesnt care who brings the food. The other is a pet."

"How did hitler rise to power? He didn't everyone else just fell."

"A lot of people ask me ""why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"""

"The more time passes since the movie ""Fight Club"" was released... ...the better we all are at following the first two rules of Fight Club."

"I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread."

"How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? ""Konnichihuahua"""