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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a man and a cat? One eats a lot, is lazy and doesnt care who brings the food. The other is a pet."

"RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old."

"I asked my German professor... ...""can you tell me how many credit hours of German this school offers?"" She replied, ""nine."" ""Well, thanks anyways,"" I said."

"Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant."

"I spent 96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein. It was the grater of two evils."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. And... Why did the fungi leave the party? Because there wasn't much room."

"In ""Captain Sully"", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River That was falling with style"

"Iphones walked out :p Two Iphones walked out of a bar"

"What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred."

"Pilot [on intercom]: You guys want to see a dead body?"