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Joke of the Day

"How many Duggar does it take to screw in a light bulb? They screw children, not light bulbs."

"Casper The Friendly Ghost never haunted my house. All I got was his stupid cousin, Murray The Constipated Poltergeist."

"I used to be a phone sex worker... until I got hearing aids."

"Professor X can move objects with his mind If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why can't he make his legs move??"

"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."

"Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town? I saw her going down on Clinton! (most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)"

"RIP Robin Williams I dont think hes coming back through a board game this time though"

"I have what CNN is calling 'snow fatigue' symptoms include: Being tired of winter A sudden desire for spring Thoughts of murderous rage"

"You ever had a wish sandwhich It's were you have 2 pieces of white bread, and wish you had some meat"

"Stop being racist to kettles."