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Joke of the Day

"I had a dodgy dwarf do a bit of casual building work for me. He asked to be paid under the table."

"There once was a man from Trent.. There once was a man from Trent. His cock was so long, it bent. When he was in trouble, he tucked it in double. So instead of cumming, he went."

"""If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open."" said the boss at my new job. ""Why do you need a door then?"" I asked him."

"Not a joke. I just wish more jokes were shorter."

"My wife gives incredible head aches..."

"You know who could really get a party started? Lenin."

"Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway."

"TIL: Norwegian women are so hot, because vikings only took the most beautiful women as prisoners. Gotcha ?"

"Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ""quickie"" only you do it yourself."

"Sometimes you have to Photoshop your life Sometimes you have to #Photoshop your life .. Touch up edges Adjust the tones Blur the background n Crop some people out :D"