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Joke of the Day

"Not a joke. I just wish more jokes were shorter."

"Unfortunately, this month's Psychics Club meeting is cancelled... ... due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment."

"How fast do lesbians have sex? Lickety-split."

"I think i'm lactose intolerant I've had 6 milkshakes today and feel like crap."

"You're so fat... you had a threesome with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth."

"The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking."

"What did the RAM stick say to the politician? I'm PC2!"

"Nothing makes me feel like this exercise plan is working than the whistles & shouts coming from the jail when I run by."

"What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese? I didn't cottage in my pants"