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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"

"Dear Johnson & Johnson: Ejacu-lotion Please DM me for my address to send royalties checks."

"My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was rightI feel ten years older already."

"Google... qrt(cos(x))*cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5"

"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"

"A fat racist and a skinny racist jump off a cliff. Who wins? Society"

"[arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day."

"When his brothel went out of business, what sign did the owner hang on the door? Beat it, We're closed."

"What do Han and Chewbacca use to communicate? A wookiee talkie."

"Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs ""which drugs?"" isn't the appropriate response. I know this now."