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Joke of the Day

"I think I will take my next drivers license picture drunk so I can say pshaw! I always look like that."

"You know you're an ugly c*nt when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera."

"What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze? Nostrildamus"

"I opened what I thought was a can of whoop-ass, but it turned out to be Whoomp! And there it is, all over my floor."

"Their are two sides to a political argument. Right wing and wrong wing."

"How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !"

"One terrorist says to another: ""Did you hear, Malala is single?..."" ""...you should take a shot."""

"What do you call two British men, searching for a donkey? Assless chaps. Source: http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/345_daft_for_donkey.png"

"Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom? She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha.."

"Did you hear about the injured Carpenter? He hurt his widdle finger."