104154

Joke of the Day

"Shouting, ""You're all pathetic idiots!"" to freedom of speech protesters... Soon changes their tone."

"ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships"

"What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year? Pure Heroine by Lorde."

"The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house."

"How do you get rid of pubic lice? Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know."

"What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu? One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment."

"The racist dove Married a racist hen And together they started A coo clucks clan"

"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."

"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Nein"

"So this bloke said to me... He said "" I once got my dog to bring back a stick thrown 100 miles away"". I said ""that's a bit far-fetched"""