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Joke of the Day

"Most 00's kids won't get these... Decent jobs"

"[at KFC] ""One bargain bucket please"" ""ok sir, and would you like any sides?"" ""Yes please, otherwise the chicken will fall out"""

"What does a Boston terrier sound like? Bahk bahk. Wicked bahk."

"Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!"

"Marrying my gay friend bc it's important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!"

"Life is like a penis. It's soft and squishy until a girl comes along and makes it hard."

"What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo"

"Yeah, no, I don't have a FitBit. I'm pretty sure I have a solid grasp on how inactive I am. I don't need like bells and alarms and stuff."

"Girl: ""all boys are the same"" Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities."

"[airport security pulls Robocop aside] -Got ID? I AM A POLICE OFFIC- -Murphy eh. Looks nothin like u. THAT WAS BEFORE I GOT SH- -Save it pal"