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Joke of the Day

"[airport security pulls Robocop aside] -Got ID? I AM A POLICE OFFIC- -Murphy eh. Looks nothin like u. THAT WAS BEFORE I GOT SH- -Save it pal"

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"What do you call the gingerbread man's ghetto cousin? The wonderbread man."
"A magician was driving in his car... ...and he turned into a driveway."
"One of my lamps has a light bulb which has outlasted my past 7 relationships."
"What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards? A receding HARE line!"
"Vice Presidents and Homicide Detectives have a similar job... ...They both work if someone dies"
"I don't drink Kool-Aid because I am worried about excessive property damage."
"[NSFW] What do they say after intercourse in Alabama? ""Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"""
"If I wrote an autobiography I bet it wouldn't sell Story of my life.."
"I watched craps at the casino for over an hour tonight until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom."