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Joke of the Day

"I've been fired from work for putting in too many hours Clock manufacturing isn't as easy as you think ^(yes I thought of this after reading the shifts-keyboard joke)"

"What do Mexicans use to cut pizza? Little Caesars."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."

"Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people."

"After some thinking i decided not to go through with the brain transplant But then, i changed my mind"

"If every day is a gift, I'd like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday."

"I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"At first I thought this subreddit was beating a dead horse. But it had only fainted."

"Press reporter asks NASA director 'what did the kepler telescope find out today' ? Water on Mars."

"A magician walks down the street and turns into a bar. Voila!"