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Joke of the Day

"A girl asked her brother If he could help her move her stuff to her new house and he refused and she asked him why He said he couldn't be her brother and assister too"

"How do astronomers plan a party? they planet."

"I bet you that Michael J. Fox was just shaking in anticipation for this day."

"What happened when the Italian chef died? He pasta away"

"What would Hitler be called if he entered into Japan unlawfully? An illegal Aryan."

"My mother called me a son of a bitch... I barked back angrily."

"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."

"Did you hear about the bear that fell into water and disappeared? He was polar."

"As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids."

"Me: Help someone is trying to gain entry to my home, send the police! Her: Calm down, where are they now? Me: Still ringing the doorbell"