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Joke of the Day
"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."
Next Joke
"Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie? Because it was PG"
"murderers are my pet peeve. im a real chill dude until i get murdered, then you better be prepared to have some sarcasm thrown your way"
"/r/Jokes won't get this an actual funny joke"
"Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing."
"Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ? It saves so much time."
"Don't give the homeless money. They'll just use it on sharpies and cardboard."
"Messy people must see reality shows differently They must see shows like ""hoarders"" as people with a bunch of cool stuff and douche bags throwing it away"
"Life; It's all about finding the next good time."
"Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage Me: for the last 7 years"