103950

Joke of the Day

"it's 2:36 am i'm hiding in my bathroom smokin bongs by myself ladies and gentlemen i didn't ask to be a winner , god just chose me to be one"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite car? Hyuuuuuuundaaaaaiiiieeeiiii"

"Subreddit for cleanjokes? Anyone know of one? TIA"

"Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado? Because the steaks are too high."

"I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings"

"ME: Hey they're playing our song. HER: This isn't our song. ME: [turning up ""Go Your Own Way""] Yes it is, Karen. I want a divorce."

"Why do trees shed their leaves in fall? Because they've had their chloro-fill."

"Chivalry Is Dead They said chivalry is dead so I wanted to prove them wrong. I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""Asshole, I'm peeing in here!"""

"Where does Obama live? The ""Baracks"""

"1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?"