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Joke of the Day

"Why do trees shed their leaves in fall? Because they've had their chloro-fill."

"how many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? I don't have a BMW in my garage. ....and if I did, I *probably* wouldn't masturbate in it."

"In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on ...before anyone knows how to use the colon."

"Still carry my keys one-poking-out-like-a-weapon-style in case I'm attacked by a not very tough rapist with thin skin."

"A man walks into a bar carrying a small pig. ""Where the hell did you get?"" the barkeep asks. ""I won it, playing cards"", says the pig."

"Do you want to earn $$$? Yes, three dollars!"

"Why are there no gays in a mental asylum? Because they can't wear a strait-jacket."

"A gay guy just called me an asshole... Does that mean he likes me?"

"I'd expect Captain America to be fatter."