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Joke of the Day

"[ brings ouija board to your grave ] ""Okay, now will you tell me why her number was in your phone?"""

"You should never call your ex a whore It's offensive to prostitutes everywhere."

"What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch? He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes."

"I was told that tipping your server is normal in America But apparently this will get you fired as a systems administrator."

"A kiss makes my day. Anal makes my hole weak."

"What's the difference between a frog and a cat? A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Gangsta Barbie ...complete set of Raiders apparel; rap cassette included"

"How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn? A buck an ear"

"Why did the spider buy a car ? So he could take it out for a spin !"

"I went to a show at the zoo, but the monkeys went wild and stated flinging poo at everybody... What a shit show"