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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars? Ones green and the other is black"

"How did the pig get to the hospital? in a hambulance."

"Sorry if you don't like my Honesty. But to be fair I don't like your f*cking Lies"

"Tonight's flirtation brought to you by the letter Booze. It's a word? Whatever, man. I don't know algebra and shit."

"Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent? Because they contain a lot of fowl language."

"Why don't witches wear underwear? So they can get a better grip on the broom."

"A comedian dressed up as Santa tells a joke to a man The man laughs so hard he can't stop and is about do die. Just before he dies, though, he looks at the comedian and says, ""You sleigh me."""

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working. I'm going to my mom's house."" I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?"

"What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order? one with everything"

"How to serve someone a summons to court 1) Knock on their door 2) Holding a really big check for $1,000,000 3) With a ""camera crew"" 4) Verify person's name 5) JK you've been served."