103554

Joke of the Day

"Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!"

"why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway"

"Grim Reaper: I'm here for the sole! Waiter: *whimpering* omg can I... can I say bye to my family? Grim Reaper: uh, no, the fish special."

"[1st Day working at Hotel California] Guest: Id like 2 check out Me: Sure! Youre all set! G: Thanks! [Leaves] Boss: Can I see u in my office"

"I'm thinking of starting a youth foundation... I mean I've already got like 30 kids buried in my basement."

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."

"In what direction do five gay guys walk?"

"Knock Knock. *Who's There?* A Kid! *A Kid Who?* A kid who cant reach the doorbell."

"There were four cats in a boat one jumped out. How many were left ? None. They were all copy cats !"

"85 year old Viagra user takes a tumble I've fallen and I can't get up"