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Joke of the Day

"Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison."

"What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house? Biden"

"Light travels faster than sound This is why some people appear bright until they speak."

"What do you do with a no-legged greyhound? Take it drag racing"

"I should buy my girlfriend a plunger for christmas because she loves to bring up old shit."

"The fish never seem to bite when I go fishing. I guess I just don't have the right allure."

"My girlfriend said she was finishing with me because of my obssession with flowers. I said ""Where's all this stemming from, petal?"""

"How much do used batteries cost? Nothing, they are free of charge."

"Foreigner? Why not fist her? Badoom TSSSSssT! (Say it out loud)"

"Thank you student loans for helping me get through college I don't think I can ever repay you."