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Joke of the Day

"What's scary, yellow, almost no eyes, has TONS of hair, and is constantly threatening to kill me if I don't suck it's dick? My Korean girlfriend."

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"There's only one vampire on Sesame Street... At least, only one that counts."
"Yo mama jokes are dumb, overused, and low quality. Like yo mama."
"For sale: one parachute. Only used once, never opened, slight stain."
"""Excuse the mess; we had guests,"" I graciously explain, leaving out the ""five months ago"" part."
"Q: Did you hear about the imaginary tree? A: It was mapleleaf."
"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."
"Why don't soccer players get hot while running? Because they hve so many fans"
"It really bothers me when the free Internet that I'm leeching off from the cafe across the street is kind of slow."
"So my girlfriend caught me cheating Dunno what pisses her off more, that I cheated, or that I destroyed her daughters grave."