103415

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an abortion in the world of Mortal Kombat? A Fetality."

"How is cribbage like anal sex? In both, scoring involves pegging."

"You know when doctors leave the room they are just checking Web MD right?"

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice? Her: What? You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)"

"What does the Pillsbury Dough boy hide under his apron? Dough nuts!"

"So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response"

"What do you call an Asian who is always on time? Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha."

"The iPad 2 will be released on March 11th. Of course, as a celebrity, I'm already using my complimentary iPad 7. The screen touches ME!"

"It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, ""Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."""