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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black and arrest the lightbulb for being broke."

"Joan Rivers is just like Soldier Field... She used to be a National Historical Landmark before all of the modifications."

"Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie."

"I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl. I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages."

"THIS JUST IN!!!!! Corduroy pillows are making headlines........."

"Homeless dude asked me for $10. Thought it was greedy but realized that we were standing outside Whole Foods. Totally legitimate request."

"Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for $50... The dad replies ""40 dollars!?! What do you need 30 dollars for?!"""

"I just yawned so loud, I think I called a boat in."

"All the adults who used to tell me ""When you're older you'll understand"" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news"