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Joke of the Day

"I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl. I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages."

"Do these Daisy Dukes make my trash look White?"

"2017 New Years Resolution First step: write down the resolu"

"two toms and a hi-hat fall off a cliff... bu-dum tss"

"Why did the salmon cross the road? Cuz it's fucking flooded."

"I got my drug dealer arrested the other day Maybe next time you'll wish me happy birthday, mom"

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower and dirty feckin liars!"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped."

"GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind.."

"Hey girl , is the cosine of you positive? Cos you're acute angle."