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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Are you coming or not? Me: Is there gonna be alcohol? Wife: It's your grandmother's funeral! M:... Wife: NO! Me: Then I'm not coming."

"Q: How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution."

"The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can."

"A muslim walks into a bar No one survived the blast."

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."

"Had scab soup today made it from scratch."

"A group of sex toy manufacturers are discussing the success of their products... and they decided that only dildos had really achieved market penetration."

"ok i'll bite.. what is Britain"

"A friend of mine suggested I go see a psychic medium. Apparently, I needed an extra large."

"T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys."