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Joke of the Day

"A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... ...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters."

"Why couldn't Shah Rukh Khan enter America? ... Because he wasn't an Amirkhan"

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."

"You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week."

"[trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] ""can you hook me up with some wifi?"""

"Whenever someone says to me ""You look so familiar, where do I know you from?"" I say, ""Do you watch porn?"""

"Aren't horses just Eunuchorns?"

"Did you hear about Ken M.? He was a master baiter, but they told him to beat it."

"Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it"

"The ATM told me, ""Not enough funds in account,"" when I tried to withdraw. This ATM needs a bigger account."