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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you eat fireworks? Your hair comes out in bangs."
Next Joke
"Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula's dentist."
"God: write this down Moses [grabs tablet]: shoot God: thou shalt have no- Moses: slow down, pal. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'"
"A goldfish is a great pet if you're wanting to be forced to explain death to your toddler sometime within the next 48 hours."
"If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it? Restaurants can't have sex you moron."
"Marriage tip: When times get tough, never tell a woman she needs to ""sacrifice."" Women do not like this term. Always say ""prioritize."""
"What was the first thing Adam said to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!"
"When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold. When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold."
"What is hard, long, and full of seamen? A submarine"
"I don't want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school."