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Joke of the Day

"""Your majesty, we've searched far for him."" ""Did you search wide?"" ""No."" ""Yeah, you better do that."""

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"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"
"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? To get to the other side."
"Always ask ""are you voting for Sanders?"" before sex. If they say ""yes"" you know they are too young."
"Did this many people have birthdays before Facebook?"
"A Roman walks into the bar... ...holds up two fingers, and says, ""Five beers, please."""
"I just removed all my German friends from my phone Now I have a Hans-free device"
"Why don't you ever see any Muslim methheads? They all just get stoned instead."
"Can someone please tell me????? What does the fox say?"
"What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson? Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it."
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