103024

Joke of the Day

"I've made my decision. I can finally say that I'd like to have some kids. Trust me, I know I can raise then right. Does anybody know where I can find some goats?"

"What is red... And smells like green paint? Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint? Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!"

"I only wear adult diapers for 2 reasons #1 and #2"

"I met this amazing girl last night but got off on the wrong foot. She wanted it on her left foot. I can't help that I have horrible aim."

"I called my little sister a blue waffle today... that spoiled cunt."

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm read for free"

"So far, I've gotten away with passing as an adult again today."

"""Hey mom, I talked to my teacher after school and she says 'hump day' isn't a real holiday... She also asked what you do for a living."""

"Ever have sex while camping? It's intents"

"It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim."