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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm read for free"

"What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath? The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!"

"*on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say ""swipe left""?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft"

"Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case? He only needed them after he'd opened it."

"How can you tell if Trump is lying? His lips move. How can you tell if Clinton is lying? [deleted]"

"Smoke alarms are really just toast alarms."

"I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they're hatching some kind of evil plan."

"To err is human; to Air Bud is dog!!!!"

"The best part of September is fucking with Green Day during their hibernation."

"What did the hobo say to the prostitute? Hey girl, I'd sleep in that box."