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Joke of the Day

"If my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory."

"Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day. However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications."

"Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think ""look at all these poor people who don't know Netflix exists."""

"I saw a guy with a belt made out of wrist watches. Thought it was a pretty cool waist of time."

"What do Russians and gays have in common? They both like bears."

"Just found out my wife is a dolphin in a wig."

"I love picking out my wife's panties except this isn't my house and now some dudes are yelling for me to come downstairs with my hands up"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten-tickles"

"Either Chewbacca is in the next stall or someone needs to start adding green leafy vegetables to their diet."

"What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a pit bull? The pit bull will eventually let go."