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Joke of the Day

"I turned on my computer. It said hello. Its a dell."

"Well they were right. If you shave around it it looks bigger Damn nose.."

"It's not that I don't like drinking, it's just I find that my aim when throwing bottles in your face is allot more accurate when I'm sober."

"What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ? I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !"

"How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography? ""Dear Reader"""

"NSFW Your cock's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"

"Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are."

"What do you call a French bathroom with a bomb in it? Linoleum Blownapart"

"Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant? Because the state abolished plant parenthood"

"St. Valentine's day Two blondes chat: ""What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?"" ""What day is it?"" ""Friday."" ""Shepherd's Pie."""