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Joke of the Day

"Everyone's dad turns down the radio when he misses a turn or gets lost like it was Tom Petty's fault or something."

"Enjoy dogs while you can. One day they're going to evolve opposable thumbs and open all of our cupboards and shit"

"Warning: Joke contains racism Racism"

"I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I'm afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there."

"My sensitive toothpaste can't stop crying."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall"

"The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something."

"What do you get when you cross a killerwhale and a cow? I don't know but don't try to milk it!"

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."

"What happens if an axe falls on your car? You have an ax-i-dent (accident)."