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Joke of the Day

"Subway's Jared Fogle sentenced to 15.6 years... Where his diet will be regulated to just 6 inchers."

"Q: What weapon is most feared by knights? A: A can opener."

"I once walked in on my brother having sex with my girlfriend. Needless to say I deflated her and threw her in the trash. #awkwardbreakup"

"I went to a homeless themed fancy dress last night. It was shit.Fcuk all food or drink and we stood outside in the rain all night."

"There was two people in the bus I wasn't the one who farted"

"What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters? They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities."

"What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street? You better C^ or you'll B^"

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"