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Joke of the Day
"All these recent David Cameron jokes have left me with a bad taste in my mouth."
Next Joke
"ZOMBIE MOM: Brains for dinner! TEEN ZOMBIE: Again?!? [slamming bedroom door] I wish I was alive!!"
"What kind of music do sponges listen to? Raggaeneration."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? ...it doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyways."
"What do you call a loony spaceman ? An astronut !"
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."
"You people don't appreciate me enough. I'm moving my tweets to TBS."
"""You go girl!! Your dance moves are on point! Why not get up on stage for some karaoke too! You're an amazing singer!"" - Vodka"
"2 sheep are standing in a meadow... One turns to the other and says ""Baaa-aaa-aaa-aaaa"". the other looks at him and says ""...I was just gonna say that."""