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Joke of the Day

"I think my wife has a habit of walking in her sleep Every morning I find her sleeping in someone else's bed."

"My wife is like a Mermaid Below her pelvis, she smells like fish."

"I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness."

"Before calling me, ask yourself, ""Is this textable?"""

"What type of bees make milk? BOOBIES!"

"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

"What do you call a smug criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending"

"Do you know why Caesar put lettuce in his salad? Oh, just cos."

"I saw this cute homeless girl on the street.. ..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said ""sure"", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box..."

"Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !"