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Joke of the Day

"MOVIE LINES Don't you hate it when you have to wait in lines I wanted to see a movie the other day and the line was huge. Next time I'm going to download off the internet."

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"Give a dog a bone and you've made a friend for the day, teach a dog to bone and you'll have friends for life."
"Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it."
"What do a marriage and superglue have in common? They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol."
"An ancient Greek walks into a tailors with a torn pair of pants: ""Euripides?"" Asks the tailor. ""Yeah, Eumenides?"" Replies the man."
"Gas goes in the butt and out the mouth - Cigarettes"
"What do you call safe sex with a horse Trojan"
"Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?"
"5yo after licking my face: ""Sorry. My mouth meant to kiss you but my brain told me to lick you."""
"My belly is fat My brain has delay. You guessed it right. I'm from NA."