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Joke of the Day

"2 cannibals are eating a clown... ""....does this taste funny to you?"""

"Got my left hand an awesome Valentines card and vibrating glove."

"The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch."

"What makes a software developer feel rich? Their Cache"

"My dad I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"*jesus turns around to find only 11 apostles* ""WHO UNFOLLOWED ME"""

"What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 60 pounds."

"What am I gonna do with a river? Could you cry me a beer?"

"*gazing at the ocean* God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation. Angel: I'm sorr- God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS"

"Interviewer: what's your greatest weakness? Me: I'm always very honest. Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."