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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Have a fowl meal!"

"Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do. Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this."

"I wonder who they'll get to play the roles of ""Couch"" and ""Phone"" in the movie of my life."

"When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'"

"I could tell a joke... but I'm not funny. Sorry. Please don't kill me."

"How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff? A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch."

"What did the cliff say to the landslide? Chalk to you later."

"What did one friend say to another on a flight that made him get escorted off of it? (WARNING: PUNNY AS HELL) ""Hi Jack! These airplanes are da bomb!"" how did i do? thought of it a couple days ago."

"Me - I'm not in the mood to work today My bank account - you better GET in the mood"

"I'm the first base coach for my son's baseball team tonight and boy it's really awkward teaching 7 year olds about kissing."