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Joke of the Day

"Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do. Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this."

"What do they call a whore's fart? A Prosti-Toot"

"Am I the only one who gives people in my neighborhood names they don't know they have? a.k.a. ""Running Man"",""Mustang Bob"", ""Blue truck dude"""

"I am a male who goes through monthly week long periods..... of unrest while my wife is on her menstruation cycle."

"if someone wakes up from a twenty year coma, i hope the first thing they see when they turn on a TV is mike tyson petting his pigeons."

"Why did Will die? Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: ""Fire at will"""

"Where do you buy a Walrus? WalMart!"

"I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something."

"People tell me my humour is offbeat but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome."

"""""Dammit I'm Mad"" is spelled the same way backwards. Think about it."""