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Joke of the Day
"Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger cross the road? To **GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!**"
Next Joke
"When I was 13 I prayed to God to lengthen my penis by 1"". I think I made him angry. Either that or the Olympian Gods answered my prayer."
"At the dinner table.. Dad: So how's college these days, kid? what classes are you taking? Kid: Intro to linguistics. Ugh, it's a shitty course. Dad: Language!"
"She said: ""I want to have your children."" . Me: ""They'll be on the first bus in the morning."""
"Bruce Jenner jokes Let's get these rolling!!"
"All right, Mr. Bank Guy. My business plan is forcing my pregnant dog to drink beer so its puppies are deformed and I can make money off them"
"Owning a selfie stick is a good way to tell people that you've driven all of your friends away with your narcissism."
"When people say they hate getting stuck in revolving doors: I tell them, ""you'll come around eventually!"""
"LPT: To clean all your clothes on laundry day Do laundry naked"
"Your momma's so fat, she's like the negative cosine of X... They both go down after pi"