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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Your resume only has ""Mad"" under ""Skills"" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway."

"My farmer buddy is so lazy. Even when we go to the bar, he only picks the low hanging fruit."

"A Canadian walks into a bar has a drink, pays his tab, and leaves."

"Is zero dark thirty the combination to the hurt locker?"

"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""

"The year is 2005. Hollaback Girl is playing. We find a table and discuss how we each decided on our MySpace top 8. Everyone is ok with this."

"Why did the computer get a virus? He wasn't using protection."

"I'm not saying she's fat... ....But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know, She'd be three of them."

"If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam."

"When a coworker says ""This is all Greek to me"", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis."