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Joke of the Day
"My hairdresser doesn't cut my hair any longer.... He cuts it shorter instead."
Next Joke
"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."
"At what age are musicians the loudest? Forte"
"Where does Putin negotiate? The Crimea River"
"A midwife delivered a baby and asked the mother "" wow your baby has such lovely hair, does he get it from his dad?"" The new mother replied "" I don't know, he wore a hat"""
"An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor. He ordered a banana split. The waitress asked, Crushed nuts? No, he said. Arthritis."
"What does its job only after its been fired? A bullet."
"Stand way over there and let me tell you a funny fairytale. Once upon a time I ate all of your Halloween candy this morning."
"Has anyone heard the joke about the magic tractor? it was driving down the road and it turned into a field."
"Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know."