16801

Joke of the Day

"What does its job only after its been fired? A bullet."

"Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: You thought I was black? Cop: Haha. Yep. You're free to go sir"

"Police responded to a call where the husband was beating his wife with a flashlight... The man was charged with assault; flashlight charged with battery."

"What do they call mosquitoes in Pakistan? Churchitoes"

"I'm a champion of grammar; A grampion, if you will."

"What do you call an Extraterrestrial from Melbourne? An Australien."

"If I was a quotation mark, I'd be a single quotation mark."

"[Dinosaur Rap Battle] We're gonna win this for sure! ""Wait, what kind of dinosaurs are we again?"" WE'RE RAPTORS! Jesus Christ Owen"

"Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying ""Happy Presidents Day, sir"" with a wink"

"Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics? Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration. (all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)"